Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Off Topic:I Am Disappointment In You're Grammar

I love writing. I've loved writing since I was 3 years old. Sure, I couldn't technically write at the time, but I think everyone appreciated the books of scribbles and drawings I gave them. (They better have--it's hard to write in crayon) In my opinion,the one thing that sucks the fun and creativity out of writing is the strict adherence to grammar and punctuation rules. I'll be the first to admit the rules are there for a reason; I can't place words and punctuation wherever I feel like putting them because the true meaning will be lost. But let's be honest, no one likes a grammar snob. (actually that's not entirely true; other grammar snobs like grammar snobs)

Because this is a hobby beauty blog (and not the great Canadian novel) I'm a little lax when it comes to grammar and syntax. I write how I speak, so as long as I don't make any egregious errors (i.e. I hate spelling mistakes) I'm good. As a means to prove I'm an easy-going  "I'm-OK-If-You're-OK" blogger, here's a list of grammar/writing rules, courtesy of speechwriter William Safire:

  1. Remember to never split an infinitive.
  2. A preposition is something never to end a sentence with.
  3. The passive voice should never be used.
  4. Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
  5. Don't use no double negatives.
  6. Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn't.
  7. Reserve the apostrophe for its proper use and omit it when it is not needed
  8. Do not put statements in the negative form.
  9. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
  10. No sentence fragments.
  11. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
  12. Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
  13. If you reread your work, you can find a lot on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
  14. A writer must not shift your point of view.
  15. Eschew dialect, irregardless.
  16. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
  17. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!
  18. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
  19. Hyphenate between sy-llables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.
  20. Write all adverbial forms correct.
  21. Don't use contractions in formal writing.
  22. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
  23. It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
  24. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
  25. Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck into the language.
  26. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
  27. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
  28. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
  29. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in writing.
  30. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.
  31. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
  32. Don't string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
  33. Always pick on the correct idiom.
  34. "Avoid overuse of 'quotation"marks.""'
  35. The adverb always follows the verb.
  36. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.
Stick to these rules and you'll be fine ;)

Have an Awesome Day!
Ginger-who is exceedingly glad that Christmas is almost over!


1 comment:

  1. I love these rules! Thanks for posting them. :) It's good to have a reminder every once in a while. Love, a longtime reader/newly-official GFC follower and former journalism student

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for reading! I read every comment but I'm not always able to respond to them. I hope you don't mind. Also, don't link-spam. I delete link-spam.
Best Regards, Ginger

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